9 Life Lessons I Have Learned From Watching Commercials

If you watch television at all, you have probably noticed that there are a lot more commercials than there used to be several years ago. In an hour of broadcasting, you will have approximately 20 minutes of commercials, compared to 40 minutes of programming. The reason for this is simple: Commercials are at least 50% as important as the actual show. And why is that? Not only do they allow Jack Bauer to use the bathroom or check his e-mail, but they also impart many little insights about the way our world works. Here are just a few of them:

Women don’t care about sensitivity. What they really want from men is free beer.

Thin, attractive people eat fast food all the time, while maintaining healthy lifestyles.

Cars are designed with the ability to drive sideways.

If your children don’t love you, you’re buying them the wrong cereal.

If you use the right shampoo, your cramped moldy shower will turn into an enormous white room where hot running water manifests magically from the sky.

The surest sign of cured depression is the patient’s ability to play Frisbee with his family.

Having a credit card is an acceptable substitute for budgeting and good stewardship.

Your family prefers the food that was microwaved for two minutes to the meal you spent three hours to prepare.

Toilets, bathtubs, and sinks are cleaned by tiny bathroom gnomes who, after their brief, productive heydays go on to live miserable, abandoned lives in the sewers.

So there you have it! Now when the commercial break comes on, instead of groaning about the interruption to your Happy Days marathon, do what I do and appreciate these commercials as a valuable opportunity to learn!

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1 Response to 9 Life Lessons I Have Learned From Watching Commercials

  1. Everything else makes sense, but the thing about women and beer is wildly inaccurate.

    Also, Jack Bauer must need to pee a lot.

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