…or you will bring my total views to 666!!! And as Biblical scholars like William Tapley, The Third Eagle of the Apocalypse will testify, this means I WILL BECOME THE ANTICHRIST!!!!!!!! And frankly, I don’t have time to be the harbinger of Armageddon right now. I would be rather halfhearted in my world-ending duties.
If you’re not the next person to visit, well, at least the end of the world as we know it isn’t your fault. And if subscribing gives you the mark of the beast, I apologize.