Bitten by a Radioactive Stupid Person

At work the other day, at some time between a coworker yanking out my arm hairs and one of my managers making lewd comments about anyone in a skirt, I had the unusual experience of running into a former crush. This particular crush hailed from my junior year, but I had seen her a few times since then, and in a moment of surprising confidence, I said “Hi.”

It came out “Heyggh,” thanks to an unexpected visitation of throat-phlegm.

Nevertheless, she smiled and waved…to the people at the table behind me.

I suddenly knew what it felt like to be Peter Parker.

Or more specifically, what it felt like to be Peter Parker after being bitten by a radioactive stupid person.

This led me to consider how Former Crush and I had met. It was a chance encounter…she was (literally) a friend of a friend of a friend, seated at the opposite end of a table. We spoke briefly of something–doubtless inconsequential, yet enough to set my heart-fires aglow. I think her name might have been Kate, but that might just be my love of Shakespeare showing through.

This meeting was followed by a months-long sequence of awkward eye contact in the DC: the sort of eye contact you have with someone you have met but do not know. And somehow it escaped my attention that we had never had an actual conversation.

Funny how your mind plays tricks on you.

This entry was posted in Awkward Stories, Humor, Relationships and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Bitten by a Radioactive Stupid Person

  1. Pingback: The Ubiquitous Nature of The Girl Who Wears Hats–A Story With Pictures | Mindless Productivity

  2. Pingback: Hindsight is 50/50 | Mindless Productivity

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