My Name Is Ozymandias, Cleaner of Things…

My name is Ozymandias, Cleaner of Things,
Look on my Works, ye filthy, and despair.

I just got done cleaning the bathtub, the toilets, the whole sink area…even those irritating toothpaste speckles that adorn all bathroom mirrors.

Just look at that tub!

This would be much more dramatic if I’d thought to take a “before” picture…but I didn’t. Suffice it to say that the tub had not been cleaned in the five months I’ve lived here…and probably not for a few months before that…and the foot-long hair of one of my housemates had clogged up the drain for weeks, so that the tub would sometimes not drain. At all.

All this clean white porcelain was pretty much a consistent brown, except for the parts that were a darker shade of brown. And another of my housemates thought he got a foot infection from tub fungus.

It was not pretty.

But two cans of Comet, one cheap sponge form Walmart (may it rest in peace), and plenty of vigorous scrubbing helped to take care of the problem.

The sink was not nearly as nasty, but it also deserved a thorough cleaning and de-hairing.

While on the warpath for purification, I also did two weeks worth of four people’s dishes, cleaned out several orangey stains and an infestation of black mold from the sink (hidden under two weeks worth of four people’s dishes), did three loads of laundry (and yes, mom, I cleaned my sheets, too), and reorganized the accumulated mess that has become my room.

I feel like a cleaning god.

And yet, for me as for Ozymandias, these mighty works of mine will decay, fall apart, or be buried beneath shifting sands or clutter. The only way to keep things clean or organized is to make it a regular habit of life. Thus, I shall soon implement the Almighty Rules of Keeping Things Clean In This House…and once I write them up, I’ll let you know what they are.

*     *     *

Atheists, you can skip the next few paragraphs.

At Taylor University, they have a yearly event that they call Spiritual Renewal Week. Speakers come, bland worship songs are sung, and teary, heart-felt confessions and rededications are had by all.

I used to be very cynical about the event, seeing it as a way to get people’s emotions into high gear. These rebirths seemed driven more by the environment than internal change. And these renewals never seemed to last very long before life returned to normal.

But now…well, I’m less inclined to judge. Renewal of the spirit is like cleaning house: It doesn’t last forever. Cleaning is something that must become part of the warp and woof of your life, and so is spiritual growth and renewal.

*     *     *

All that’s to say that it’s good to live in a clean house. Good enough to make me write a blog post for the first time in…goodness, almost two weeks. To the One Who Checks Daily, I apologize. I’m gonna try and get back on track now.

I suppose blogging needs a rejuvenation every once in a while as well. Stay away for too long, and it’s difficult to jump back in. Blog too regularly, and you start churning out uninteresting pablum.

I may be writing a guest post for another blog soon. I’ll let you know when and where!

This entry was posted in Humor, Thoughts and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to My Name Is Ozymandias, Cleaner of Things…

  1. Pingback: Summer of Awesomeness: Day 1: Cleaning | Mindless Productivity

  2. Pingback: Summer of Awesome: Day 1: Cleaning | Mindless Productivity

  3. Make the most of it! If you’re anything like me it’ll be messy again in no time lol

  4. Brian Fannin says:

    You only think they’re toothpaste speckles.

    You’re a good writer. You should write a book.

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