Unpleasant Thoughts That Are Not Quite Horrible

I didn’t sleep very well last night. So I figured, why should you?

Thus, I now present you with thoughts, phrases, and mental images that I find discomforting. These are not horrible, violence-infused slasher-film thoughts. I just find them…unpleasant, for one reason or another. Enjoy.

A squishy doorknob.

Time travel with no way to get home.

A light rain of warm milk.

Staring through a keyhole in a horror movie.


Sleeping with spiders on the ceiling.

Discovering that something familiar has been replaced by a tentacle.

Silent people with scissors.

Being an exhibit in a Museum of Stupid People.

Holding your face over a porcupine.

A smiling tornado.

Earwax in the butterscotch pudding.

The back of your head on the television screen.

Accidentally sitting on a dead body.

Putting one’s hand into a blender which is turned off.

Knee sweat.

Anything with long teeth and no eyelids.

Guinness world-record fingernails reaching out of the other room.


Good luck sleeping.

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5 Responses to Unpleasant Thoughts That Are Not Quite Horrible

  1. Pingback: More Unpleasant Things That Are Not Quite Horrible | Mindless Productivity

  2. Chupp says:

    Can you make a movie involving all of those?

  3. Al says:

    A keyboard made out of Limburger cheese.

  4. I found nearly every one of those things to be evocative of not-quite-horror. Eugh.
    Good choices.

  5. squiznit says:

    very clever i enjoy your blogs so i’ve bookmarked you and will be back 🙂
    well written

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