This is Mindless Productivity’s badarumbadumdarumdaradarada… 50th blog post.
Also! I just passed 2500 views, which works out to an average of 50 views apiece for 50 posts.
Also! I now have 10 official subscribers/followers. That number is not 50, but it still ends in a 0, which makes it important.
Also! I can now do 50 push-ups! This does not have anything to do with the blog, but it does have to do with 50, which is how I am justifying its relevance.
I wrote a few of those posts prior to graduation, but for the most part, this blog has been a record of my thoughts and life during my first six months of true adulthood. And although not much of great significance has happened during this time, it certainly has been interesting…
EDIT: A note for any confused people who may or may not be one of my housemates. The following quotes from the blog are taken out of context, and should not make any sense. Read in context, they make only slightly more sense.
“I saw the chicken pot pie glaring at me from the bottom shelf.”
“When the male brain senses the oncoming responsibility associated with living on one’s own, it releases a special chemical, known as unimonosingular nofemaline.”
“This continuous nothinging might have gone on forever.”
“Anything relating to my musically-tasteless obscene Canadian doppelganger has been forced into digital obscurity.”
“Most of the time, they end up half-finished and deformed in a laboratory, miserably croaking “Kiiiiilllll meeeeeee” to anyone who walks by.”
“Frankly, I don’t have time to be the harbinger of Armageddon right now.”
“If this went on, the entire country would be buried like Pompeii of old, not with volcanic offal, but with radishes.”
“Join the real Mafia. You’ll be surprised how much more rewarding it is to rob real gas stations and shoot real grandmothers.”
“I would prefer that you didn’t hire brain-damaged hoboes to tie me to the tracks in the first place!”
“I knew what it felt like to be Peter Parker. More specifically, what it felt like to be Peter Parker after being bitten by a radioactive stupid person.”
“I’ve been blogging with the steadiness of a epileptic with the DTs for several months now.”
“As Caravaggio jumped back to the Venetian shore, and the unmanned French pirate ships sailed into the Mediterranean sea, the Hunchback of Notre Dame came out of the cargo hold where he had been hiding and swore his undying revenge.”
“Has the alphabet always had so many letters in it?”
“I miss the days when a woman’s smile could turn me into a gelatinous, incoherent mess.”
“Adolescence 2.0, here I come.”
“We spent the rest of the day tending to important matters of state while bouncing in the Presidential PlayPlace.”
“When I see a car with one headlight burned out, I assume it is being driven by a pirate.”
“You’ll see what I mean once he starts putting kryptonite in our ethanol.”
It’s nice to have my descent into madness so neatly documented and organized. But this of course means that the madness must escalate…
Thank you, readers, followers, accidental discoverers, and more, for your encouragement and support. And occasional death threats. I look forward to seeing what the next six months and 50-odd posts will hold.