SEX! SEX! SEX! and Other Bad Ways to Generate Blog Traffic

Do blog views actually matter?

Is the end goal of blogging to rake in clicks on your page, or should you be attracting readers who interact with your writing?

As bloggers, we pursue blog views like mice pursue cheese and mice of the opposite sex. And if blogging is just a numbers game for you, then traffic stats alone may satisfy you. I am going to assume that you care about more than mindless page clicks—that you want people to appreciate your blog for your brilliant insight and scintillating wit. If not…if you are, in fact, a page-view whore of the very worst kind…you may now go away. You are not my target audience.

1. Attract Your Target Audience

After (whatever period of time), the inevitable has happened. 7 Ways to Be Sexy Without Taking Your Clothes Off has passed up my main page in terms of views, with over 1800 visits.

This was not my intent.

Sure, when I came up with that title, I knew that I would receive at least a few sex-seeking web surfers, but I did not predict how numerous…or bizarre…the search results would be.

If anyone was actually looking for non-nudifying ways to be more attractive, then this post might have been helpful. However, users searching for “with out cloth and very sexy movie movement” and “sexy girls are taking the clothes that belongs to the doctor” were most likely disappointed. And to the person who wants to know “how to become sexy clothes”………..I, ah, I don’t think it works that way. Just saying.

This is a case of failing to connect with the right audience, albeit unintentionally.

When posting to your blog, pay particular attention to your post title and url. Are either of them misleading, likely to attract readers looking for something different? These kinds of titles may promote blog views, but they won’t net you new followers or commenters.

2. Don’t Wordstuff

Get more blog views better blog traffic higher blog stats more page clicks more site visits build up SEO bring more people to your website improve your pageviews…….BLECH!

Never. Do. This.


Back when search engines were…frankly, stupider, this sort of wordstuffing may have resulted in higher search results. Nowadays, search engines are much better at weeding out these desperate attempts to garner clicks.

More importantly, this is hollow writing. People will leave your site as soon as they see there is nothing of substance.

Which brings us to…

3. Produce Original, Quality Content

There is no substitute for a well-written blog post. You can try to play the game as much as you want, but all the search engine optimization in the world can’t make up for sucky content.

Robots may find your site, but robots do not read, subscribe, or comment. Make concessions for the robots, but remember that your audience is human.

When you craft your title, create one that is search-friendly to the robots, but also interesting to the human being who ultimately has to click on the link.

When you write the body of your post, include enough relevant keywords for your post to register in search results, but don’t bog it down with boring mechanical writing. Keep your writing vibrant and alive. Google isn’t the only way people find your blog. There’s also word-of-mouth. Write something that people will want to forward to their friends or link to on their own blogs.

4. Don’t Overthink It

You can do everything just right and still get overlooked. Sometimes you just lose the internet lottery. Pick yourself up, learn what you can, and try again.

5. End Strong

When you come to the end of your blog post, come up with a strong, decisive conclusion. Don’t end every blog post by begging people to click the ‘Subscribe’ button that is conveniently placed in the upper-righthand corner of the screen. Don’t urge people to ‘Like’ your post just to feed your feeble self-esteem. And don’t point out that readers can easily promote your blog on social media sites like Facebook, Reddit, and Twitter using the buttons below each post.

I mean, come on, that’s just hard to respect.

This entry was posted in Blogging, Humor, Writing and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to SEX! SEX! SEX! and Other Bad Ways to Generate Blog Traffic

  1. Pingback: Writing Tips You Shouldn’t Obey, Except When You Should | Mindless Productivity

  2. Pingback: Save Yourself Five Minutes and Set Yourself On Fire Now | Mindless Productivity

  3. Sean Knutson says:

    Man, I was searching for “sex sex sex” and I found this instead…

  4. Anonymous says:

    I agree with everything your saying ……But don’t views /likes/comments/ to an extent give you a small benchmark of what you are saying is reachng people…I am not a view whore but I like to know people actually read what I’m talking about…and yes you had me at sex, sex, sex……..

    • Yes, and I certainly enjoy seeing how many views/likes/comments I get. It’s just important to differentiate meaningful views (from readers who want to hear what you have to say) from pointless views (from readers who were tricked into visiting your page).

  5. Zen says:

    Just goes to show what many of the people on the Internet are thinking off. I think Nos. 4 and 5 are the most important. As long as you write unique and interesting posts that aren’t pretentious or stuffy, there isn’t a reason why people shouldn’t visit your blog.

  6. Trent Lewin says:

    Views don’t matter, they are silly, but you can see that there are people on here who maniacally go about trying to get more, it drives me nuts. So I ignore them. I think this place works best as an exchange of writing, and that’s more than enough. The views are just empty stats. I just did a thing about this on my post, ten things I have learned about blogging. Only been at it a month but some trends seem to be evident. Anyway, good post and glad someone is seeing the content as the important part, because it truly is.

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