That Does It, I’m Moving To Mexico To Grow Tortillas

Hate is coming from the sky and freezing all over everything.

Frozen rain and sleet and snow all coming down to form an icy, gritty, frigid, disgusting mess.

In case I’m being too subtle, the point is that I am not a winter person. As far as I’m concerned, they should burn winter. Burn it all.

I’ve been cooped up in this little house for too. Freaking. Long. And despite how many hours I spend on the internet and video games and reading and watching TV, I actually do like being outside.

Well, when it’s warm. I’d rather drink my own piss than go out in this.

So I’m packing up my sombrero and moving to Mexico. I’m gonna work on a tortilla farm, growing tortillas. Pick those warm, round, juicy tortilla fruits right off the tortilla bush and toss them like pizza crusts to get them nice and flat for tacos and stuff. Harvest the leaves and let them dry into tortilla chips. Squeeze salsa out of the roots.

Adios, amigos!

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6 Responses to That Does It, I’m Moving To Mexico To Grow Tortillas

  1. Cabin Fever strikes again….the wagon will be over soon to pick you up sir..

  2. kerbey says:

    Yes, come to Texas. It feels lovely out right now, and we’re still building shopping centers as if no recession existed. Let us employ you. BTW, this begs the question: corn or flour tortillas?

  3. ashley says:

    Move to Texas, that’s where all the cool (see what I did there?) people are going.

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