Slut

Christians love sluts.

Wait, I said that wrong.

Christians love slut, the term, not sluts, the people group.

I’m not sure why this is. As a religion, for the most part, we’ve gotten pretty good at not calling people niggers, yids, fatties, cripples, spics, dykes, freaks, or retards…but the slurs I hear from Christians with surprising regularity are slut and whore.

The funny thing is, the recipients of these epithets rarely meet the usual qualifications for these terms, i.e., sleeping around with everyone or having sex for money. Many of these sluts and whores are still virgins. Usually, the only requirement is that she shows a little bit more skin than the next girl.

slutty monkey

Among Christian guys, these terms are thrown around with a sense of being put-upon. “Man, how are you supposed to stay pure around whores like that?” “Jeez, you wanna show a little more cleavage, slut?” This is generally followed by a scoff of disgust at the obscene display.

There’s this unspoken rule that these women are leading us unwillingly into sin. “It’s the Garden of Eden all over again!” We’re just minding our own business, being holy and righteous, and then these stupid women start running around ripping their clothes off, and how can anyone be expected to persevere through that?

Yes, the way women dress makes it harder to keep your steeple under control, but who said this was supposed to be easy? It isn’t…any more than loving your enemies or giving all you have to the poor is easy.

And lets be honest…what normal heterosexual Christian man is disgusted by an attractive woman wearing skimpy clothes? We’re not! If a guy is genuinely disgusted by that, he’s probably well on his way to becoming a sexually-repressed serial killer.

But we pretend we are, because that’s what our subculture expects us to do. Some of us are married, and can’t be honest about the fact that we still find other women attractive. Some of us are leaders in the church, and can’t be honest about our vulnerabilities and weaknesses.

Plus, if we’re honest about this issue, then we might have to start talking about how most Christian guys have been addicted to porn for years and masturbate multiple times a week, and that just makes everybody feel icky.

If we’re going to guilt women about how the way they dress influences us, we need to take responsibility for the way we influence them. We’ve created a culture that encourages girls to dress like strumpets (can’t go wrong with Shakespeareanisms) and rewards them for doing so. Even if we verbally disapprove of a girl for dressing that way, we still give them more attention, look at them more, talk with them more, ask them out more. Of course they’re going to dress that way. It’s a Pavlovian masterwork of social behavior.

I know I can’t change the way the world is. I can’t change the way you are…I can’t even change the way I am. The best this post can do is make some of you feel good for a little while and make some of you feel bad. So instead of trying to do that, I’m just going to apologize.

Not a grand sweeping apology on behalf of all mankind to all of womankind. Just a small one from me to the girls I know and that I’ve interacted with over the last few years. Some in particular more than others, but that’s really only important to me. If you found this blog by accident and want to pretend it’s a grand sweeping apology, be my guest.

This first part doesn’t sound very apologizey, and I apologize for that.

Dear Women-Friends,

I find many of you very attractive. I freely admit that your tight skirts, short-shorts, tank tops, swimsuits, low necklines, and all those other things I don’t know the names for are sexy and appealing on you. And then I feel uncomfortable and embarrassed for feeling this way. At which point I awkwardly start a conversation, run away, avoid eye contact, force eye contact, insult you, or throw crumpled up pieces of paper at you, because, yes, I still have the relational sensibilities of a middle-schooler. And sometimes I’m annoying, and sometimes I’m funny, and sometimes I’m creepy, and sometimes I’m friendly, and sometimes I’m a douchebag.

Anyway, to the girls I’ve given undue attention to, I’m sorry for telling you, in words or actions, that your only worth came from being flirtatious and attractive and sexy. And to the girls I’ve ignored, I’m sorry for telling you that you had no worth because you didn’t display these qualities so close to the surface. You are all so much more than that. Don’t let anyone–especially me–tell you otherwise.

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This entry was posted in Friendships, Relationships, Religion and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Slut

  1. roseytoes says:

    You commented that ‘Among Christian guys, these terms are thrown around with a sense of being put-upon. “Man, how are you supposed to stay pure around whores like that?” “Jeez, you wanna show a little more cleavage, slut?” This is generally followed by a scoff of disgust…We’re just minding our own business, being holy and righteous, and then these stupid women start running around ripping their clothes off, and how can anyone be expected to persevere through that?’

    I am not sure what kind of ‘Christians’ you are hanging out with. The words ‘slut’ and ‘whore’ aren’t words I’ve heard out of the mouths of any males, be they 13 or 33 who calls themselves ‘Christian’.

    ‘Slut’ and ‘whore’ are judgmental words, too, and judging others isn’t very Christian.

    Your blog entry sounds to be recounting the words and attitudes of boys who are struggling more than the girls, with what it means to be Christian.

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