I’m getting really sick of these titles. But apparently they’re what gets our attention now.
I open my browser and see dozens of links to articles telling me
You’ll Be Amazed At This One Quick Trick She Uses To Save Thousands!
OMG! How Did They Not Notice That?
For Five Minutes, This Speaker Talked About Some Boring Shit. At Six Minutes, Everybody Cried. And So Will You!
Somewhere in the last three years, websites learned how to be coy.
When did we agree to be harassed by an endless barrage of verbal stripteases? “There’s lots more inside…if you just click.”
And what’s with the pronouns? So many pronouns. This singer, Her mistake, what He did. You didn’t notice the pronouns before? Good luck unseeing them now.
Please, bloggers, article writers, video uploaders, and gif posters, for the love of God, stop acting like a teenage girl at the prom. We’re sick of the manipulative bullshit.
Stop taunting us.
Stop telling us how we’re going to feel.
Stop assuming we have to be tricked to click on your link.
Be upfront and just tell us what you have to offer.
One honestly-earned site view is worth a hundred cheated.
That’s all I have to say.
Now here’s your damn penguin.