I Am Envious Of Your Pens

Sometimes you have to be honest about your shortcomings.

I know what they say…it’s not how much you’re born with, it’s how you use it. That sounds nice and all, but it still feels patronizing.

And I know women say they don’t care, that it doesn’t really matter to them, but it should matter. It matters to me.

I mean, when I see what some guys have to work with…man, what I wouldn’t do to have what they’ve got.

And sure, you can tell yourself that there’s nothing wrong with you, that you’re completely normal. That average is nothing to be ashamed of…better than average, depending on who you ask.

You start comparing yourself to your friends. Sure, maybe I don’t have as much to offer as he does, but I’ve got more than that guy, and he’s managed to land something steady. The thoughts in your head are never as reassuring as you hope.

Because you’ve seen what’s out there. On the internet, in a magazine, or in the dark corner of the bookstore, you’ve seen what your competition is. And yeah, sure, that’s an unrealistic standard to hold…but you know that’s what the world wants. It’s what the world expects.

Sometimes you just sit around and fantasize. You can imagine what they’d say, almost hear the words in your ear. “Oh, yes…oh…oh, yes…oh, how did you get so good…oh, you’ve got such a beautiful…well-developed………writing style!

And then you open your eyes and your publisher is giving you some very concerned looks.

*     *     *

Are you going to make it big? Maybe. But probably not. More people make a million dollars from the lottery than from a book deal.

The question is: Are you going to sit around and wish that you could write like one of the greats, or are you going to write like only you can?

I’ve made my choice. I’ll never be a Stephen King or a Neil Gaiman or a Mark Twain or a William Goldman or a Kurt Vonnegut.

I’m just me. Nathan Biberdorf. And I’m going to put that stupid, unpronounceable name at the top of every manuscript, short story, poem, and script that I can. Because that’s who I am. That’s what I’ve got.

And if nothing else, at least I have an enormous [CHARACTER LIMIT EXCEEDED]

This entry was posted in Humor, Writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to I Am Envious Of Your Pens

  1. 3dgirl96 says:

    I loved this! When I was (a lot) younger, people used to ask me why I didn’t write more, why I wasn’t “fighting for my dream”. My answer used to be, “I can’t be Stephen King; the world already has one.” But nowadays I write for myself, and I share it with anyone who wants to take a look. And I’m pretty happy being me.

  2. Hey, you may never be Gaiman et al, but that’s not what the world needs.

    I love the way you write, which is why I’m all over your site right now. Have you ever read Don Marquis?

  3. mrG says:

    “More people make a million dollars from the lottery than from a book deal.” Ouch
    And sadly far too true 😦

    speaking as an Old Guy, I can only repeat what others wrote and without recalling who it was and so it goes but, as it was said, more or less, was thus: “I tried to be someone else, but every someone else was already taken.”

  4. stett says:

    This makes me quite happy 🙂 And for what it’s worth, I think you have an impressive pen.

  5. Nathan, you never fail to make me smile. I think you’re a great writer, by the way. Have you ever completed a book?

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