Would You Like Fries With That Power Trip?

What’s your name, boy?
Hey!
Don’t look away when I’m talking to you
You little shit
What’s your fucking name?
You think you’re so big?
You think you’re lord of the cash drawer?
You’d better give me what I want
Or you won’t be lord of shit
I’m a powerful man
I eat people twice your size for breakfast
Do you know what I do for a living?
I’m a county court judge, did you know that?
I can’t wait till I see your pimply little face in my court
Slam the hammer down so hard
You’ll regret the day you ever crossed me
How do ya like that, boy?
You think that’s funny, do ya?
Don’t lie to me, boy
I see that hint of a smile trying to creep around your lips
Don’t tell me I don’t
You little prick
Do you like this job?
I said, do you fucking like this job?
Being gainfully employed?
I’ll bet you do
I’ll bet you did
I swear to God, Jesus, and Satan Almighty
I’ll see you sleeping in a gas station parking lot
Blowing truck drivers just to get by
Sucking so much dick
You forget what real food tastes like
I’ll be your first customer, boy
And you’d better’ve learned some fucking respect by then
Where’s your manager?
Get me your goddamn manager
You little stain

Ah, good morning, sir
I take it you’re the manager of this fine establishment?
I believe there has been some miscommunication
I was just hoping that I could get another packet of salad dressing
These salads are so big, you see
And these packets so small
Yes, I realize that normally they cost extra
But I have a condition, you see
It’s difficult to explain
Yes, I understand your cashiers aren’t authorized
To give things away for free
I would never hold that against him
But he didn’t give me a chance to explain
And he was really quite rude to me
You should have heard the language he used
Absolutely horrifying, I must say
And I have my five-year-old daughter with me
She shouldn’t be exposed to that kind of language
What’s that?
A second package of salad dressing?
Oh, thank you so much
It’s very generous of you
I certainly hate to be of trouble
Oh, no trouble at all, you say?
Well, I surely must pay you for this extra dressing, shouldn’t I?
Don’t worry about it, you say?
You’ll take it out of his paycheck, you say?
I suppose fair is fair
What’s that?
His last paycheck, you say?
Dear me
I hate to have lost the poor boy his job
But I suppose adults can’t be allowed to act that way
Dine in?
No, I think I’ll take it to go
I have to go meet someone
At the gas station, of all places
I do hope he doesn’t keep me waiting

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3 Responses to Would You Like Fries With That Power Trip?

  1. nbhangal says:

    You portray duality and division across thoughts, actions, and behaviors in an abrupt and authentic manner. Arguably, the dichotomy and conflict between our internal self and external self (if you believe there is a daulity) is hard to rectify, as it seems inherent in the human experience. I find myself asking, how many individuals truly experience uniformity among their internal thoughts and external behaviors. I understand your depiction of the customer was both an external exchange, one the with the boy and one with the manger; yet your narration was in first person. The use of the first person viewpoint made me really think about how I sometimes experience life behind the many masks of my conscious thoughts, some that are transalte into action and others that are suppressed out of fear of societal mandates and repercussions (which might not be so bad, in case everyone who wanted to sleep with a stranger engaged in assault because their were no consequences). In short, while I’m sure you had your own reasons and conclusions for writing this, it allowed me to draw my own, so thanks!

  2. hopeful says:

    i love your write style, and true reality of life.

  3. lydiaeno says:

    Thankfully I work at a place where the managers are on my side. They’ll give the customer the salad dressing and then hear me out. But yes. This is how customers often treat us, especially in the drive-thru.

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