Hey there, lovers of food and democracy,
I would like to share with you a real American recipe I like to call it…
EGGY BURGER MUSH!
Because that is its name. Its well-established name because it’s a well-known staple of the American diet!
What’s that, you say? You’ve never heard of the patriotic wonder that is Eggy Burger Mush!? Well put a thick stick between your teeth so you don’t swallow your tongue in excitement, because I’m going to tell you how to make it…THE AMERICAN WAY!
Here’s what you need!
An amount of beef-like meat
A number of mushrooms
A quantity of hot sauce
Some cheesish stuff
A skillety thing
A spatulaey thing
Something that makes other things hot
Most recipes make you buy particular brands of items and use specific amounts of things. Why is that? Because recipe-inventors are Communists and don’t believe in freedom.
Is that the face of a man who loves his breakfast? Only if it contains other people’s tears!
Now lets learn how to make Eggy Burger Mush! the American way!
First, take your meat. How much meat? What kind? If I were a communist, I’d say, “You vill use exactly vun pound of hamburger!” because Nazis and communists are basically the same people group.
Since I’m not a Nazunist, I say, “You decide, Freedom Man!” Use half a pound of tofu! Use three pounds of ground chuck! The sky is the limit! But not really, because we won the space race! Suck on that, guy who was the main communist leader when that was happening!
So take your amount of beef-like meat and cook it in the skillet until it looks brown enough to not kill you. Then drain out the excess grease and dispose of it. Or drink it to keep your veins well lubricated! Yum!
Then crack the eggs and chop the mushrooms and add them to the meat! How many? AMERICA MANY! “But ve used three eggs und four mushrooms!” And your rigid adherence to rules and regulations is why the Soviet Reich was crushed in 1945 when Adolf Stalin blew his brains out under Bunker Hill, Communazis!
Now grate some cheese on top of the Eggy Burger Mush! and mix everything together. I used white cheddar, but using different cheeses is exactly what makes America the best damn country in the world!
Once it’s all stirred up and cookified, add some hot sauce to that sumbitch! And then it’s done!
If I were a Communist, I’d tell you that this recipe for Eggy Burger Mush! makes 3-4 servings. But only Communists share the hard-earned fruit of their loins with parasites! Eat the whole damn thing yourself!