200th post! Whether you’ve been following this blog from the beginning or just found it today, thanks for supporting with each read!
To mark the occasion, I’m introducing a new segment called Pop Culture Shock. This is where I explore outlandish fan theories and mesh different stories in ways that were never intended by their authors.
For today, I’d like to introduce you to a fan theory of mine that weaves together Disney’s Frozen and C.S. Lewis’ The Chronicles of Narnia.
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I like Disney movies. They’re so cheerful and uplifting, and hardly ever have horrifying implications.
Take Frozen, for example. Sure, it gets a little dark, but in the end, good prevails, sisters are reconciled, and everyone lives happily ever after. Except for the dead parents, but, hey, this is Disney.
But what if I told you that…
…BECOMES THE WHITE WITCH OF NARNIA?
To be clear, this transformation doesn’t follow the course of events as shown in Frozen. In the movie (spoilers), Elsa gets ice powers, freaks out, runs away, Anna goes after her, Olaf is hilarious, some other stuff happens, and eventually everything works out, BUT…
…what if Anna doesn’t chase after her sister? What if she listens to Hans’ warning of danger and, just for a moment, gives into fear…and stays home?
If Anna stays at home, she never mets Kristof, and she doesn’t get her heart frozen by Elsa. Hans doesn’t follow after her, so Elsa doesn’t get captured and dragged to Arendelle in chains.
So what does happen?
Based on what we’ve already seen, Hans and Anna get hitched, and Hansna becomes the new hot celebrity couple in town.
But since Hans is a manipulative, sociopathic son-of-a-bitch, he knows that the only thing between him and sole rule of Arendelle is a couple of dead sisters. But Elsa is out of reach, and he has no immediate reason or convenient way to dispose of Anna, so he bides his time and builds his power base.
Months pass. Up in the mountains, Elsa’s powers grow unchecked. In the few days seen in the film, her powers grow from casting magical ice blobs to creating actual, intelligent life from snow.
Okay, intelligent is debatable, but still…life! From water! Given a few more months of solitude, what else could she be capable of? Slowly but surely, Elsa becomes A Force To Be Reckoned With.
And all the while, fear grows in her heart, because she knows that someday, sooner or later, they will come for her. Her only consolation is that, alone out of all those who hate and fear her, Anna, her sister, still loves her. She hopes.
Months pass. The deep-freeze extends beyond Arendelle into the neighboring regions, and Hans now has allies to spare. First, there is the Duke of Weaseltown…
Plus, Hans has 12 older brothers, each making strategic marriages of their own. Together, they have a veritable army to take against Elsa. Anna is the only one who dissents, believing her sister can still be reasoned with. But when the army marches, she joins Hans at the front of the line, determined to try to talk with Elsa and avert disaster.
Okay, okay, lots of Frozen speculation, but what does this have to do with Narnia?
Let’s put a hold on the alternate-universe-Frozen for a second and check out
the White Witch. First off, where’d she come from?
She didn’t originate in Narnia. In The Magician’s Nephew, we learn that the White Witch was originally named Jadis, queen of a place called Charn, set in an entirely different universe. In this world, the Queen and her sister vied for the throne. In the end, Jadis destroyed all life but her own through a powerful spell called the Deplorable Word.
She then placed herself in an enchanted sleep until she was awakened by Digory Kirke and Polly Plummer and transported to Narnia, where she would eventually become
the White Witch.
Okaaaaaaay, so what does that have to do with Frozen?
Well, where were we? Oh, yes, the brink of war.
Elsa sees the armies of her world arrayed against her and then, the sight she had dreaded the most: her own sister is among them. Her hopes are dashed, and without realizing it, without meaning to, she unleashes the Deplorable Word.
But what is the Deplorable Word?
The Deplorable Word is…Fear.
Years before, the trolls warned Elsa, “Fear will be your enemy.” But the greatest enemy wasn’t the fear that others would have of Elsa. It was the fear Elsa had of them.
And now, seeing the one person she had trusted seemingly turned against her…Elsa’s fear becomes absolute. And with that, she finally loses complete control of her powers, and in one tremendous flash, everyone in her world is…well…
Years pass. Alone, struggling to cope with what she’s done, she tells herself the story of what had happened over and over, the details bending with each remembrance. Fear was what destroyed everyone, and so fear becomes a word, a Deplorable Word. Her world is no longer anything but a repository for the dead, a planetary charnel house…and so it becomes Charn. Even her own name changes, as she tries to distance herself from the horror she had unleashed.
Eventually she can’t even stand to live alone in this world any longer. So she uses her powers to put herself in a cryogenic sleep, her metabolism and mental functions slowed to almost nothing, waiting to be awakened by some other living soul, or else sleep until time runs out.
But she does not sleep forever.
She is awakened, by two children that carry her to another world.
A world which she also buries in a neverending winter.
Where those who she sees as a threat are turned to stone…or could it be ice?
And it seems as though winter may last forever…until Aslan, King of Narnia, gives up his life to save Edmund Pevensie: an act of sacrificial love.
Winter is brought to an end, and those who had petrified by the White Witch were brought back to life again.
Because, as they say, only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart…
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If you enjoyed this revisionist fan theory, you may also enjoy my version of how Spider-Man 3 should have been written.
If you have a Pop Culture Shock “What if…?” you’d like me to explore, post it in the comments below.