Unlikely Fictional Valentines

If there’s one thing I’ve learned from hundreds of novels and romantic comedies, it’s that you should never let incompatible personalities, irreconcilable differences, or basic laws of physics get in the way of true love. Forget Romeo and Juliet…let’s consider such fictional romances as…

 

Nick Dunne (Gone Girl) + Libby Parsons (Double Jeopardy)

gone girl double jeopardy

He may have killed his wife. She may have killed her husband. Throw in the kid from the Omen, and you’ve got the perfect family for madcap comedy antics! Tune in each week, and find out how sometimes, spending time with the family can just be…murder.

 

Elizabeth Bennett (Pride and Prejudice) + Christian Grey (Fifty Shades of Grey)

fifty shades of prejudice

In 1813, British author Jane Austen showed that women the world over could fall for a man who was arrogant and socially aloof, provided he made at least ten thousand pounds a year. In 2011, British fan-fiction writer Snowqueen’s Icedragon showed that if the guy makes millions a year, he can also get away with being a manipulative sadist as well.

Will Lizzie hold on to the prim mores of the early nineteenth century? Or will she succumb to Mr. Grey’s wicked ways? And how exactly did they meet? Was there a time machine, or…?

 

The Doctor (Doctor Who) + Clare Abshire (The Time Traveller’s Wife)

the time traveller's doctor

Clare Abshire spends her life in love with a man who bounces randomly through his timeline. Wouldn’t things be much easier if she was in love with someone who bounced through time unrandomly? With a TARDIS built for two, they can travel all of time and space together!  True, technically he isn’t human, but this is the twenty-first century! When it comes to romance, species is secondary. Consider, for instance…

 

Edward Cullen (Twilight) + Hazel Lancaster (The Fault in our Stars)

the fault in our twilights

It’s the oldest love story of all: Boy meets girl. Girl gets cancer. Boy turns out to be an ageless vampire who sparkles in the sunlight instead of burning up like any respectable vampire. Teenage angst happens.

But how will this poignant tale end? Will Edward’s vampiric bite bestow immortality upon Hazel? Or will he lose his own by contracting her disease. Only time will tell, with this match made in…where do vampires go when they die, anyway?

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2 Responses to Unlikely Fictional Valentines

  1. Pingback: We Must Indeed All Band Together, Or Most Assuredly, We Will All Be Banned Separately | Mindless Productivity

  2. tomaio82 says:

    So enjoying how you “tied up/together” these novels most of us have read. I do use the term novel very loosely when describing 50 shades. I’ll admit, I couldn’t read through the entire book… Did EL James have an editor? If so, I hope she didn’t pay them…. How many times can your “breath hitch” before you simply pass out from lack of oxygen. Really??!!

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