April Cruels

You don’t know me, but, uh
I served with your son
And I know how much pain you’re going through right now
But I just want you to know
The only reason I’m alive today
Is because your son gave his life to save mine.

April fools!
Huh? Oh, no, he is actually dead
But, you know, only since he got drunk
And wandered into that minefield
I know he would have wanted me to keep it light
He always said I was the life of the party
Who do you think got him the brewskies?

Mr. and Mrs. Fra…Franelli?
Am I saying that right?
I’m afraid I have some bad news
Why don’t you both sit down?
I’m afraid I have to inform you
The baby…didn’t make it

Just kidding!
You’re the proud parents of a healthy baby boy!

Just kidding again!
It’s a girl!
Oh, and, uh
She’s got a liiiitle bit of sickle cell
So, uh
Good luck with that
(Sheesh, who ever said laughter is the best medicine?)

Ja, ja, zis way, Herr Schwartz
Ve have some good news for you
You’re going home
You vill see your family again
Is good, yes?

How is it ze Americans say?
You zink you are go home?
You are filthy Jew pig!
You are smelling!
And vhat are zose?
Are zose lice in your hair?
Tch, tch, tch
Go hit ze showers
If you thought ze last joke vas good
Ze next one vill be a gas!

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One Response to April Cruels

  1. Oh gosh. This is horrible. I love it.

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