Tag Archives: Men and Women

I Call Her Eve, Because She Brings the Darkness

What God could make a woman so? And say, ’tis not good for man to be alone She bit the Eden’s apple of my heart And leaves me now forever wandering.

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Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

I Hate Boyfriends

As a straight guy, I would just like to state for the record that I hate boyfriends. Not just because they diminish the population of available, dateable women. And not just the douchebags. All of them. All boyfriends ever. Even … Continue reading

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Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Pretty People Depress Me

WARNING: I foresee nothing of value coming out of this blog post. Save yourself from a heavy dose of depression and self-loathing and just stop reading right here. Attractive women depress the crap out of me. Not even movie-star-level attractiveness, … Continue reading

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Posted in Psychology, Relationships | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Where’s Witty Banter When You Need It?

Movies have ruined my social graces. Whenever I meet someone new, I only have about two minutes of wit before I’m tapped out, as film has conditioned me to expect a scene change or significant plot twist at the end … Continue reading

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Posted in Awkward Stories, Movies, Relationships | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments


Christians love sluts. Wait, I said that wrong. Christians love┬áslut, the term, not sluts, the people group. I’m not sure why this is. As a religion, for the most part, we’ve gotten pretty good at not calling people niggers, yids, … Continue reading

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Posted in Friendships, Relationships, Religion | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Bah Humbug, Lovebirds

I told myself I wasn’t going to write a Valentine’s Day post, but I’ve got to write something or I’m going to lose all this momentum I’ve built up blogging the past couple weeks, and I’m running out of ideas … Continue reading

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Posted in Humor, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

It Would Be A Shame To Waste All This Romance

Beneath my carefully-molded exterior of sarcastic cynicism beats the heart of a poet and sappy sentimentalist, as some of you may already know. Thus, despite being a virgin, I have given a surprising amount of thought about my wedding night. … Continue reading

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Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments