Tag Archives: Sex

Not My Type

“Not my type” Are the words that keep coming to mind The problem being the implication That I have a “type” That the conundrum of who I like and who I don’t Could be quantified and measured with words like … Continue reading

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Posted in Poetry, Sex | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Take Off Your Parentheses And Let It All Hang Out

Punctuation is like clothing. Formal prose is like a job interview: you wear the best clothes you’ve got. Everything must be in its proper place; no stray cuff-links, no buttons unbuttoned–everything arranged in just the right way, so that nobody┬áhas … Continue reading

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Posted in Poetry, Sex | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Sometimes A Guitar Is Just A Guitar. But Usually…

You bastards. You sneaky, guitar-playing bastards. Everyone with an ounce of observation knows that guitars are chick magnets. If you can pick out a Jack Johnson song with any kind of competence, you’ll spend half your time playing your guitar … Continue reading

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Posted in Humor, Music, Sex | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

I Hate Boyfriends

As a straight guy, I would just like to state for the record that I hate boyfriends. Not just because they diminish the population of available, dateable women. And not just the douchebags. All of them. All boyfriends ever. Even … Continue reading

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Posted in Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , | 12 Comments

NASA For Herpes

I’m probably alone in this, but I like to picture STDs as opportunistic little astronauts. Much as we observe the orbits and patterns of the planets, waiting for them to fall into alignment before launching probes to Mars or Jupiter, … Continue reading

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Posted in Humor | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Pretty People Depress Me

WARNING: I foresee nothing of value coming out of this blog post. Save yourself from a heavy dose of depression and self-loathing and just stop reading right here. Attractive women depress the crap out of me. Not even movie-star-level attractiveness, … Continue reading

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Posted in Psychology, Relationships | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

This Post Is Definitely Not About Sex

I’m almost 24 years old, and I still haven’t figured out a solution to sex-on-the-brain. I thought that two and a half decades of disuse had caused my baby-making parts to give up the ghost and move to more…ah, fertile … Continue reading

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Posted in Awkward Stories, Humor, Relationships | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments